i have created this place so far away from myself. i have developed this habit of taking everything out on those i love most. i am over it. i find myself sitting in the dark just trying to understand the magnitude of it all and yet there is this amazing soul right in front of me. she is sleeping and i am watching. my breath is short because of her beauty and undeniable truth. she is mine and i hers and i finally understand the true magnitude of our union. she will not leave me and i will not leave her. i see our future panning out in front of us and i know that we will get to the porch swing we've talked about so often. she is my best friend, my lover, and my wife. how could i ever hurt her and yet i do. we all hurt the ones we love....we all do. but we hurt with them. i refuse to let her FEEL my pain....hear it, yes, but feel it NO. she deserves better, she deserves the woman she fell in love with.
she is in there somewhere and i will write until i find here....forever loving my beautiful wife